Does your baby wake up within an hour after falling asleep at bedtime?

If so, you may be dealing with what's known as a "false start" — when a baby appears to fall asleep at bedtime, only to wake up crying 30–45 minutes later, often seeming wide awake and ready to start the day all over again.

False starts are one of the most frustrating sleep challenges parents face. You've done the whole routine — bath, feed, lullabies, darkness — and just when you thought you were free... the crying starts again.

The Good News?

False starts are extremely common and very fixable. They're usually a sign that something in the sleep environment, schedule, or sleep associations needs to be adjusted. Common causes include:

• Bedtime being too late (overtiredness causes a cortisol spike that makes it hard to stay asleep)
• Bedtime being too early (baby isn't tired enough yet)
• Sleep associations — baby needs a prop (rocking, feeding, pacifier) to fall back asleep
• An environment issue: too much light, noise, or temperature fluctuation

The fix usually involves tweaking the schedule by 15–30 minutes in either direction, strengthening independent sleep skills, and ensuring the sleep environment is optimized for staying asleep — not just falling asleep.

Want to learn more?

Every baby is different, and so is every false start. If you're struggling with this, a personalized sleep plan can identify the specific cause for your baby and give you a targeted fix — usually within a few nights.

What is a Sleep Prop?

A sleep prop is anything your child (or even you) rely on to fall asleep. This could be something you need to settle into sleep at bedtime or to return to sleep if you wake up during the night. As adults, we usually don't have many major sleep props — but we may have small preferences, like the firmness of our pillow or needing to sleep with one foot sticking out.

Common Sleep Props for Babies and Toddlers

Babies and toddlers, however, are still learning how to sleep on their own. They often rely on sleep props like pacifiers, being fed, rocking, or being snuggled to fall asleep. While these props are not inherently bad, when a child becomes overly dependent on them, it can make falling asleep — and staying asleep — much harder.

If they can't fall asleep without their prop, they're likely to stay awake even when exhausted. And if they wake up during the night, they'll want that same prop to get back to sleep.

So, What Can You Do?

Whether your baby is still very young or approaching toddlerhood, there are things you can do to help them sleep more independently without over-relying on sleep props. Start by identifying the main sleep prop your child depends on. For many babies, it's often a pacifier, feeding, or rocking. Then, come up with a plan to gradually reduce or eliminate the need for that prop.

The key here is consistency. Children thrive on routine and knowing what to expect. Stick with your plan as best as you can.

What to Expect?

Expect some resistance in the first few nights. There might be tears (from both you and your little one). But remember, this is an important step in teaching your child to sleep independently — a life skill that will serve them well as they grow. Stick with it, and they'll thank you later!

As a parent, it's only natural to want to be close to your baby. Co-sleeping can feel like a comforting way to bond and ensure your little one feels safe and secure. However, as a pediatric sleep consultant, I'm here to help you navigate a different path — one that fosters healthy, independent sleep habits for your child in a loving and caring way.

Promotes Healthy Sleep Habits

Babies naturally wake several times during the night. When they're accustomed to sleeping independently, they develop the ability to self-soothe and fall back asleep without external help. This is an essential life skill that supports better rest now and healthy sleep patterns in the future.

In contrast, co-sleeping can make it harder for babies to learn how to self-regulate their sleep. They may come to rely on external factors — like a parent's presence or movement — to drift back to sleep. Teaching independent sleep empowers your baby to navigate these natural nighttime awakenings on their own, leading to longer, more restorative sleep for everyone.

Supports Emotional Development

Helping your baby transition to independent sleep doesn't mean you're abandoning them. On the contrary, you're teaching them to feel secure in their own space and to trust that you'll always respond when they truly need you. These early lessons in independence build confidence and resilience, which are critical to emotional development.

Some parents worry that independent sleep might weaken the parent-child bond, but the opposite is often true. A well-rested child — and a well-rested parent — is better equipped to enjoy quality time together during the day.

Encourages Parent Wellness

Parenting is demanding, and sleep deprivation can take a serious toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. Co-sleeping often leads to fragmented sleep for parents, as babies' movements, sounds, or sleep cycles disrupt their own. Encouraging your baby to sleep in their own crib can help you reclaim restful sleep and reduce the stress and fatigue that come with disrupted nights.

When parents are well-rested, they're more patient, present, and emotionally available to their children. Prioritizing your own wellness isn't selfish — it's essential for being the best parent you can be.

It is also showing care for your partner by prioritizing time with them apart from your baby. Your baby will grow up and start their own life one day, but the relationship with your partner will remain. Don't forget to make time for each other.

When we hear "sleep skill building," most of us picture tiny babies learning to sleep through the night. It is true that sleep skill building is commonly associated with infants, particularly between the ages of 3 to 6 months, as this period is often recommended for initiating sleep skill building methods. But sleep troubles aren't just for the littlest members of the family — they can follow children into their preschool and school years.

In fact, studies show that 20–30% of children experience sleep problems at some point, ranging from difficulty falling asleep to waking frequently at night. Sometimes, these issues stem from unresolved sleep challenges in toddlerhood. Other times, new problems emerge as a child's imagination expands, bringing along vivid dreams or fears.

The truth is, sleep struggles aren't just a childhood thing. Roughly 50–70 million adults in the United States alone deal with sleep disorders. No matter your age, sleep is essential. It's during sleep that our bodies grow, heal, recharge, and solidify memories.

So, let's change the way we think about sleep skill building. It's not just for babies — it's for anyone who needs a little help to unlock the restorative power of sleep. After all, we all deserve to wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Everyone deserves the gift of good sleep.

The 5 S's are a method for soothing crying babies, developed by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp. The 5 S's mimic the environment of their mother's womb, making babies feel very calm and safe. The calming reflex only works when it's triggered the right way — so using these techniques in the right order and combination is key.

The 5 S's:

1. Swaddle — Wrapping your baby snugly mimics the secure feeling of the womb and helps prevent the startle reflex from waking them.
2. Side or Stomach position — Holding baby on their side or stomach (while awake and supervised) can trigger the calming reflex. Always put baby on their back to sleep.
3. Shush — A loud "shhhh" sound mimics the constant whooshing sounds baby heard in the womb. White noise machines work great for this.
4. Swing — Gentle, rhythmic motion mimics the movement baby felt in the womb. Small, fast jiggles (head supported) can be especially effective.
5. Suck — Sucking on a pacifier or finger activates the calming reflex and helps babies self-soothe.

The 5 S's work best when used together, especially in the early weeks. As your baby grows, they'll need fewer of these tools and will start developing their own self-soothing abilities.

Sleep skill building might be a controversial topic among new parents, but research continues to demonstrate its significant benefits for both infants and their families. As parents navigate the challenging early months of parenthood, understanding the long-term implications of sleep habits can help inform their decisions.

The Long-Term Impact of Early Sleep Patterns

Research has revealed a compelling connection between early sleep habits and long-term sleep outcomes. Studies indicate that when sleep difficulties aren't addressed in infancy, they don't simply resolve on their own — they can persist for up to three years or even longer. More concerning is the evidence showing that children who experienced sleep problems before six months of age were more likely to continue having sleep difficulties at ages five and ten.

Why Sleep Matters

The importance of quality sleep extends far beyond just getting through the night. Sleep plays a crucial role in:

• Cognitive development and learning
• Physical growth (growth hormone is primarily released during sleep)
• Emotional regulation and behavior
• Overall well-being of both infant and parents
• Family dynamics and relationships

The Dual Benefits of Sleep Skill Building

Sleep skill building has emerged as an evidence-based approach that offers advantages for both babies and their caregivers. Research has demonstrated that effective sleep skill building:

• Improves infant sleep patterns and duration
• Enhances maternal well-being and mental health
• Reduces the risk of postnatal depression
• Improves the overall quality of life for the entire family

Everyone deserves the gift of good sleep. Exhaustion shouldn't be a rite of passage or a badge parents feel forced to wear. Real rest is possible for every family.

This post is inspired by an incredible resource from Janet Lansbury, a widely respected parenting educator. It speaks to something every parent feels deeply: the instinct to immediately stop our baby from crying, no matter what.

The truth is, most parents are not the ones who ignore their babies. Most of us shush, rock, jiggle, use electric swings, washing machines, pacifiers, drive all over the neighborhood, nurse babies for hours on end — anything to avoid even a moment of our baby's discomfort.

But here's what's worth knowing: staying calm when your baby cries is one of the most powerful things you can do for them. Here are seven reasons why:

1. Your calm is contagious. Babies are incredibly attuned to their caregivers' emotional states. When you stay calm, your nervous system helps regulate theirs.
2. Crying is communication. Babies have no other way to express hunger, tiredness, discomfort, or overstimulation. It's not a problem to be stopped — it's a message to be understood.
3. You can't always fix it immediately. And that's okay. Learning that their needs will be met — even if not instantly — builds trust and security.
4. Panic escalates the situation. When we rush in frantically, babies sense our anxiety and often cry harder.
5. Calm presence teaches self-regulation. Over time, babies who are met with calm, consistent responses develop better emotional regulation skills themselves.
6. It protects your mental health. Treating every cry as an emergency is exhausting and unsustainable. Staying grounded helps you parent from a better place.
7. You are enough. Your steady, loving presence — even without a perfect fix — is exactly what your baby needs most.

After five kids, I've tried a lot of products. Here are the ones I actually keep coming back to — the ones that made my life easier, my babies more comfortable, and our nights more manageable.

15 Favorites for Baby

Sleep Sack

There is definitely a debate on whether weighted sleep sacks are safe to use or not. Ultimately I leave that up to the parent to decide. But I will say that I used the weighted sleep sack from Dreamland Baby for my last two babies and absolutely loved it. The weight used is gentle and evenly distributed, and it was created using a team of pediatricians, nurses, and sleep experts to make sure the sleep sack was made appropriately, was safe to use, and was effective. I swear by this product! BUT, if the weighted aspect is just not for you, no worries — they make regular sleep sacks and swaddles as well. Check out Dreamland Baby Co here →

Pajamas – Little Sleepies

I promise you I'm not lying when I say I bought these PJs for my daughter when she was around 6 months old and they fit her all the way until she was 3 years old. These bamboo PJs from Little Sleepies are adorable, comfortable, and stretchy — they literally grow with your child. You can fold the hands over for mittens or roll them up. You can fold the feet over for footie PJs or unroll them for growth or exposed feet. Can't say enough great things about them! Check out Little Sleepies here →

Pajamas – Bottom-Zip Tip

Though I don't have a specific link here, I do want to highly recommend for all mamas of new babies: get PJs that zip from the bottom up! This makes diaper changes, especially in the night, SO much easier. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Diapers

When it comes to diapers, every mama has an opinion — and ultimately you need to choose what works best for your baby and your budget. But in my experience, Pampers or Huggies were my favorite for little babies all the way through size 3. They just held up SO well to blowouts and pee like no other diaper I've found. And between coupons and other deals, they're never really that pricey. After size 3, it didn't seem to matter much what brand I used.

Wipes

A couple of my babies had some skin issues, so I switched to Water Wipes for years and then eventually Pampers Sensitive Wipes. I love both because they're strong, effective, and fragrance-free. Huggies wipes have always driven me crazy because they're a bit too soft and rip to shreds SO easily — I always found myself needing to use way more wipes.

Diaper Rash Spray

This stuff is a lifesaver! If you need a diaper cream that works but isn't messy, this is it. I've had babies and toddlers with diaper rash issues where they didn't even want me to touch the area. This lets you just spray and call it a day — no mess, no hassle, and it works. Check out Boogie Diaper Rash Spray here →

Bottles

I tried a few different bottles, but these ended up being my favorite with each of my five kids. The nipple is close to the breast and I never had issues with nipple confusion or bottle rejection. They come in various sizes and nipple flow rates, and they come in plastic or glass with not a million pieces to wash. Philips Avent Bottles (option 1) → or Philips Avent Bottles (option 2) →

Baby Lounger

Like any product, companies have to put tons of warnings on things for the people in the world who tend to make unwise decisions. I bought a Dock a Tot and loved it with my son — I always used it on safe surfaces and with my supervision, and it served our family so well. Unfortunately, because some parents didn't use it safely, it isn't being sold much anymore. I did find a similar product that is still available. These loungers are NOT meant to be placed in the crib, are NOT a replacement for a crib, and should never be used without mama keeping a close eye on baby. Check out the Infant Baby Lounger here →

High Chair

There are lots of great high chair options out there, and ultimately you need to choose what works best in your space. This is one I loved with my last two babies and it served us well! Check out the 4moms High Chair here →

Burp Cloths

Out of all the burp cloths you could get, these are a big recommendation. They're large, absorbent, and easy to wash. Check out these Muslin Burp Cloths here →

Pacifier

If you have decided to use a pacifier for your child, I highly recommend the Nookums Paci Buddy! Similar to a Wubbanub but with the option to detach the pacifier for cleaning or if your child outgrows the pacifier but still loves their furry friend to play with. These were a lifesaver for me both so I didn't lose the pacifier so easily and when my babies were young it helped position the pacifier in their mouth so it wouldn't easily fall out. Check out all the cute furry buddies here →

Car Seats

When it comes to car seats, I have always used and trusted Graco and they have yet to let me down! The Graco SnugRide is a great infant carrier that can even go up into the beginnings of toddlerhood (find it here →) while the Graco Extend2Fit is a great next option that will help grow with your child so that all in all, you don't have to buy more than 2 seats ever for your child (find it here →). Both seats have easy release buttons for anchors and are easy to take apart to clean when your child decides to puke everywhere or cram a whole box of wet cheerios into the seat. You're welcome in advance.

Sound Machine

As a sleep consultant, I'm all about what offers great sleep and is easy and convenient to use! The Hatch is one of my top favorites by far. With the app on your phone, you can turn it on from anywhere (seriously, even another state), you can schedule the sound or light to come on or turn off at various times, and you can even use it to signal when your child has to stay in bed or when they can get up (green means go, red means stop). I also recommend using a sound machine because no matter where you go or where your child sleeps, it brings good consistency so they can sleep well anywhere. Check out the Hatch Sound Machine here →

Playard

This is definitely one of those extra things you do not need but it's a nice-to-have! Whether it's in the living room at home, at the beach, or at the park, I can't say enough about this playard! It has netting to protect against bugs and debris, a padded mattress (you can choose cute fitted sheets for it which are easy to take off and wash), and it's easy to pop up or close. Whether it was our dogs that were stealing baby toys, a baby on the go I needed to contain, or even when a Church service was held outside one year with no childcare, this thing has been awesome! Check out the California Baby Co Playard here → (mattress pad: here →)

Pack N Play Mattress

Ever feel like the mattress in a pack n play seems just too hard of a surface? It's tempting to want to add blankets and things to make it softer but that can be dangerous for young babies. This tri fold mattress is here to save the day! It folds up for easy travel or storage and fits perfectly in your pack n play to provide a comfortable crib-like experience. Its rounded edges make sure to leave no gaps behind for little hands. Check it out here →

15 Favorites for Mama

Baby Monitor

I used the Nanit Monitor for my last two babies and absolutely loved it, even without the subscription. But recently my husband discovered a company called Harbor — an even better product, no subscription needed, and a better overall price. If we weren't already moving out of the baby stage, I would have hands-down switched over. Listing both below! Bonus: these cameras can still be used around your house even when you don't need them for your kids anymore.

• Harbor →
• Nanit →

Stain Treater

If you're a mama, this spray is for you! Get it in the mini or full size — this stuff gets out almost every single stain you put up against it. I've gone through multiple bottles. Check out Miss Mouth's Messy Eater Stain Treater here →

Stroller

A fantastic stroller! I was introduced to it when I bought the double stroller version second-hand. It was already eight years old when I got it and it was STILL in fantastic condition and going strong. Amazingly easy to maneuver with one hand (yes, even the double!), slim enough to fit through a single doorway, and built to hold small infants up to large elementary-aged children. I even had a toddler on one side and a baby carrier on the other for a while — and I've flown with it too! City Mini Single → | City Mini Double →

Nursing Pillow

Out of all the nursing pillows I could recommend, the one I really wanted to share doesn't exist anymore (cue sad face). So instead I found one that's the exact same shape. Forget those old-school Boppy pillows that are always awkward to put on and take off — say hello to this teardrop-shaped nursing pillow! You easily tuck it where you need it, you can tie it in place, and it's small and compact enough to take on the go. Check out this Nursing Pillow here →

Diaper Pail

Don't fall for the same trick I did and get the Diaper Genie. It seems super convenient until you realize you're hooked into buying refills for it — and the smell of dirty diapers will still slap you in the face every time you open it. Instead, get this diaper pail, which uses any trash bag of your choice, holds tons of diapers so you're not constantly refilling it, and is super easy to use and clean. Check out the Ubbi Diaper Pail here →

Nipple Cream

If you're a nursing mama, this stuff is for you. Those babies might not have teeth yet, but they can clench down, pull, and yank like no other — and your nipples will get SUPER tender and need some TLC. There are plenty of great options out there, but this is the brand I used and I can speak to it working wonders. Check out Lanolin Nipple Cream here →

Nursing & Car Seat Cover

Hands down this is one of the best things I ever got and I wish I had it with all five of my babies! Though this isn't the exact same brand I used, this one looks just like the one I used and loved. You'll see lots of similar ones for much more expensive but trust me when I say that this one works just as great as any cover listed for $40. These covers are great for the car seat or for nursing! I have even walked around the store while nursing because this stretchy material covers you front and back. It's super lightweight and hands free once it's on! Check out this Nursing and Car Seat Cover here →

Hip Carrier

You may have seen ads for this online, and I'm here to tell you it's a fantastic product. Definitely one of those "extra" things you can absolutely live without — but also one of those things that makes your life a lot easier. If you find yourself carrying your baby on your hip all the time, especially during events or travel, this Tush Baby Hip Carrier is awesome. It takes the load off your arms and back and has amazing storage — I've fit a pack of wipes, a few diapers, my phone, and a bottle in this thing. It's deeper than it looks! Check it out here →

Comfy Pregnancy & Postpartum Outfit

If you're looking for a comfy but cute outfit that is both pregnancy and postpartum friendly, this is it. Lightweight, stretchy, flowy, and stylish. Check out the Sweater Tunic and Shorts here →

Cute Sweatpants Set

Whether you're a first-time mama or having your third child, being a mom is hard and busy. It's very easy to put ourselves aside to take care of everyone else — so if you're going to live in sweatpants, why not make them cute and stylish? Every mama knows she immediately feels better when she looks cute. I love these sweatpants and collared top because they're stylish but also extremely soft and stretchy. Check them out here →

Lounge Tracksuit

Speaking of stylish but comfy sweatpants, this is another favorite set I found while following a cute mama on Instagram. Soft, stretchy, and great for around the house, on the go, or at the airport. Pair with a comfy pair of tennis shoes and you're set. Check out this Lounge Tracksuit here →

Sleep Mask

I have a couple of sleep masks I love, but this one is a favorite and very affordable. The MZOO Sleep Mask is made of soft material but is also weighty enough that you want to fall asleep the moment it covers your eyes. I loved it at the hospital after having my newborn, at home for a power nap, and at night for hitting that deep sleep. Check it out here →

Biotin Hair Growth Shampoo & Conditioner

Okay, where are all my postpartum mamas at? I see you — and I know the hair loss is real. I promise it's a short season, but man it feels everlasting! When I tell you this shampoo and conditioner changed my life, I mean it. I always had typical postpartum hair loss, but with baby #4 it was so bad I had actual bald spots and had to rock a middle part for months waiting for it to grow back. I found these products, tried them, and my hair grew so fast my hair stylist was shocked at my next appointment. Check out the Biotin Hair Growth Shampoo & Conditioner here →

Non-Slip Grip Socks

Whether you're at the hospital or at home, these are by far my favorite socks. Non-slip on the floor, and they stay on my feet SO well — they don't ride down like so many other no-show or ankle-cut socks. I used to rub my ankles raw with other types of socks, but these have never let me down. I even love wearing them with boots and they never fall. Check out these Non-Slip Grip Socks here →

Nursing Bras & Nursing-Friendly Outfits

Last but definitely not least, for all you pregnant or nursing mamas out there! These nursing bras and nursing friendly outfits were such a blessing to me and so cute too! They make nursing super easy but the flaps also blend in so well with the outfits so your dress or top isn't noticeably for nursing. They are also made with super comfortable material. Check it out here: Kindred Bravely → | Option 2 → | Option 3 →

I'm a 36-year-old mom of five, and I've been a mom for 13½ years. Before that, I worked with children in various capacities for over 24 years — as a nanny and babysitter for more than 13 of those years — and my college degree was centered around child development. I share all of this not to boast, but to give you some context: I had a lot of experience with children and sleep long before I ever became a certified sleep consultant. I've seen what works and what doesn't. I've learned from both successes and mistakes. And I've worked with many different types of parents across all kinds of situations.

By the time I earned my certification, I already came in with a strong foundation and a lot of opinions about how sleep should be approached with children. What I wasn't prepared for was the unexpected challenge that followed.

The Problem I Didn't See Coming

In the two years since I became certified, I've spent far more time educating the public about what I do — and what I don't do — than I have actually working with families. And please don't misunderstand me: I believe education is essential, and I'm genuinely happy to do it. But there are moments when it feels disheartening, because I know there are families out there who truly need help and aren't reaching out — not because they don't need it, but because they're afraid of what "sleep training" might mean.

And honestly? I get it.

The Term Has Baggage

There are so many methods out there for getting babies and young children to sleep, and not all of them are safe or supportive. I don't blame parents for being hesitant when someone comes along promoting "sleep training" — because depending on who's doing it, that term can mean very different things, some of which are genuinely uncomfortable for families.

So rather than continue spending energy trying to redefine a term that already carries so much weight in people's minds, I've made a decision: I'm retiring "sleep training" from my vocabulary.

Introducing: Sleep Skill Building

Going forward, I'll be calling what I do sleep skill building — because when it's done right, that's exactly what it is.

Think about how we approach other skills our children are learning. When a baby is working on crawling, or a toddler is learning to walk, or a child is figuring out how to ride a bike, we don't just walk away and say "good luck!" We model the skill for them. We stay close to keep them safe. We cheer them on through every wobbly, uncertain attempt until they finally get it.

That's exactly how I want teaching sleep to feel.

Sleep is a skill — and every child has to learn it. But the way they learn it can be safe, gentle, and supported. Mom and dad can be right there, nearby and cheering them on, every step of the way. My goal in working with families always comes back to three things:

• I want children to be safe.
• I want the connection between parents and their children to stay strong and secure.
• I want to give children the time and space they need to develop this skill — just like any other skill they're learning.

A Note on Past Content

You'll still see the term "sleep training" throughout my older blog posts, videos, and social media content — and that's okay. I stand fully behind everything I've shared. But moving forward, you'll hear me say sleep skill building, and now you know exactly why.

If this resonates with you, or if you've been on the fence about reaching out because you weren't sure what working with a sleep consultant actually looks like, I'd love to connect. I promise it's nothing to be afraid of.