Why not "sleep training"?
You'll notice I don't use that phrase much anymore — and that's on purpose.
Words carry baggage.
Over the years, "sleep training" has become shorthand for one specific, often harsh method — usually some version of leaving a baby alone to cry it out until they fall asleep from pure exhaustion. That's not what I do, and it's not what most of the families I work with are looking for.
I don't think every method under that umbrella is wrong. But I do think one phrase has ended up carrying the weight of every method, philosophy, and horror story parents have heard about online — and that keeps a lot of exhausted families from reaching out for help they actually need.
I call it sleep skill building.
Sleep is a skill — just like sitting up, crawling, or learning to feed themselves. Kids don't master those skills instantly, and they don't master sleep instantly either. They build the skill gradually, with guidance, encouragement, and room to practice.
That reframe matters, because it changes how we think about the process. We're not "training" a child like a behavior to correct — we're supporting a child while they learn something new, the same way we'd support them learning to walk.
Room to learn. Support when it's needed.
Sleep skill building, done well, gives your child space to practice this new skill — but it never means leaving them to figure it out entirely alone. I believe in gentle methods that let mom and dad stay close by, ready to step in with comfort or help exactly when it's needed.
Your child gets the chance to learn. You never have to disappear to make that happen.
Curious what this looks like for your family?
No pressure. No commitment. Just 30 minutes to talk through what gentle sleep skill building could look like for you.
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